I could give a shit what people think (don't you love when people say that?)...

We've all say it. It's the cool thing to say. Hipster. Confident in skin. etc.etc. Bullshit.

As Saint Rocke has grown, I've had my head to the ground, and I'm the first to admit that I'm sometimes oblivious to trends, ignorant of current popular culture, and hard-headed in my ways. I like things a certain way, and I've come to a peaceful position that I hope people like what I do (how Saint Rocke looks, feels, etc.) or I'm out of business. I can't fake it. I can't be "that guy" when it comes to certain things in the bar business (if you want a definition of "that guy" just let me know), and because of that, I've had to develop thick skin. I can't tell you how many times I've heard -- "yeah, this sucks. You should...."

Most of the time, I politely listen, and then walk away. But I care, I really do, about what other people think. And even though I say I dont, I do. So when we got #1 venue from the Easy Reader, I have to admit, I was pretty excited. Now, I'm not supposed to say this, but usually the voting in these is rigged. From either (1) small businesses that stuff the ballot, or (2) the editor being biased based on who advertises with them.  But in this case, we totally dropped the ball, and I didn't even vote, much less did we activate our fanbase. And (2) we don't advertise in the Easy Reader, but other venues do.

With that, I have to admit, at the cost of potentially not being as cool, that I was super stoked, and humbly grateful when we got this. It's nice to know that the sweat and tears we put into bringing music & culture into the South Bay is not going unnoticed. Even our happy hour - when we started programming music during happy hour - we immediately saw a difference. Right on. That's all I can say.

So just wanted to say thank you to all those who believe in Saint Rocke, and appreciate our efforts, and also to say keep the suggestions coming. If you don't like something, be vocal. If you do, BE VOCAL. We love it on both ends. In the end, the product is that we deliver a better experience.

Oh yeah, one more thing. In the spirit of hating on the Yelp world, if you post a REAL response/critique of a great experience at Saint Rocke, some tickets might just come your way for a show of your choice :)

Anybody want to Meet-n-Greet PEPPER???

Enough of the SERIOUS. Okay, okay. Last week I published an article that I wrote for a newspaper on the state of the music business (comments?) so this week I figured...take it easy man.  Stop your preaching.

Okay, then simple. Who wants to meet Pepper? I have some backstage green room passes to meet PEPPER on Sunday night for our SOLD OUT acoustic performance that is being live streamed worldwide.  here's the catch....to win you need to:

1. take a picture and either send to office.saintrocke@gmail.com or  post on saint rocke's facebook and it has to have something to do with PEPPER (shaker? sneezing? whatever...). Most creative wins. Hurry, time running out.

Article I just wrote on MUSIC BUSINESS for the Newspaper

THE MUSIC BUSINESS: Supporting music from the ground up

I own a music venue, and every day it gets harder for me to understand the business of music. I see hundreds, if not thousands of artists a year, performing at Saint Rocke in an effort to make a living on music and I increasingly hear the same thing from them: “our fans love the music we create, but they are less and less inclined to support our music making endeavors.” In other words, we [the consumer] love to listen, but hate to pay for it.
They have a very valid point. Think about it.
What would your life be without music? How would it feel to experience a wedding without that special first dance, a drive up the coast without the radio blasting, or a baseball game without the national anthem? Music gives us the soundtrack for our lives, and Id venture to say that the art form of music is appreciated and enjoyed in some manner by every human being that walks the earth. It would make sense that the community would embrace artisans that create this music, and that great value would be placed on the songs that we all laugh, cry, and fist pump to. Why then has a beautifully written song been reduced to a $.99 purchase, and why has the music marketplace cultivated itself in a band of online thieves?
The majority of people involved in the business of music will agree that the marketplace is currently in a state of flux, and most will focus on the specifics of the economic model, such as the transition from CD to digital, or the economy hurting live ticket sales. Over the last decade, CD sales dropped 50%, from $14.6 billion to $6.3 billion annually, and no end to the decline seems near (the impetus of this decline was the infamous Napster, that took the price of a CD from $14 to free in 1999). As a result of this lost revenue stream, artists initially focused more on touring and live performance in order to continue making a living. But increasingly higher ticket prices coupled with a struggling economy have resulted in the first decline in ticket sales in decades, as reported by Pollstar. The most alarming byproduct of this decline in revenue was illustrated well by a musician friend of mine that I had coffee with last week (an artist that has sold millions of albums over the last two decades). During our conversation, he told me that a major sporting event wanted to use his song during their TV intro, and that to license the song they would give him but a few hundred dollars (in 2001, this would have been a $10,000 price tag). Translated: the Artist of today is struggling. Struggling to prosper, struggling to thrive, and struggling to simply make a living under the current model of the music business.
Let me be clear: I am not finding fault with the consumer. Supply and demand is a simple economic theory that holds true with the human condition, and people will pay for a product they see value in. Additionally, I see the magazines too--the fancy cars & the big houses, and the bands like Rolling Stones and U2 taking private jets to San Tropez—and sympathy is not the feeling that comes to mind. It’s almost as if the media engines that create this perception of cool are the same engines that fuel the consumer’s “love to listen, hate to pay” attitude. However, I do believe that we need to be more conscious of the situation, for our own benefit as well. I want to wake up and throw some tunes on, like I did this morning, and listen to good melodies. I don’t want to take a run and have no music to inspire me, or get used to silent film on the weekends. I want good music in my life today, tomorrow, and as long as I’m alive. And so I believe we, as the consumers, need to be cautious in our perceptions, and understand that one day our economic actions might reduce the volume and quality of music that is being provided to us every day. If that day ever comes, the world will truly be in trouble.
So what then is the proper characterization of the state of the music business? It’ll survive just as sure as music will survive, because that’s what we do. People survive. But I’m hoping that somewhere along the line, we will all realize our ever-important roles in supporting and nurturing those who provide us these unique soundtracks--the coffee shop singer that is charging $2 at the door, the independent artist selling his CD for $8, or the band offering a live stream online of their performance for $1. There is a post-music industry music industry developing as we speak – and our actions as consumers will be the defining impetus for the new frontier.
Does buying a CD or paying for a show at Saint Rocke sound so crazy now?

Fuck the Boundaries. 2011 (cue Eye of the Tiger)

You might laugh at me. You might think Im retarded. But I just came upon a realization...
those guys on TV, those normal dudes from Idaho that won the lottery, or the American Idol that's sitting in front of 10,000 people realizing a dream, they are actually right. My cynicism was off...pretty much (caveat) anything is possible, and the only super limiting thing is your own boundaries you set.

I know what you're thinking. Really? It took this guy that long to figure that out? I've heard this a thousand times, and although I like to think I've done some cool things, they have all been in the 'safe' harbor...the harbor where it's fun, but you don't really put yourself out there to fail. Ask yourself if you don't believe me...when's the last time you did something outside your comfort level? something that you otherwise thought you'd never be able to do?

Example (small). A year or so ago, I was thinking, wouldn't it be cool to film in Saint Rocke and get big artists that normally wouldnt play a 300 cap room? Pipe dream. A year later...Pepper, Bush, Amos Lee. Fuckin rad artists playing this tiny little room. And so I started thinking bigger and bigger. and bigger. And I realized that Johnny Ohio & Mindy Wisconsin were right, as I was watching American Idol last night (yeah, I watch) and the people crying before they did their song because they wanted it so bad.

So, on this thursday, a little pep talk. 2011. Kill it. Dont take no for an answer. I'm not....

A freaking Sap. Yup. Calling It. New Trend (maybe)...

Tonight I proved to bridge perhaps the biggest gap in music listening history within 2 hours: JayZ Blueprint 3 to Sara Bareilles Gravity. Don't know how it happened, don't know quite how it went down, but goddamn, I love both artists, and Im calling it in public.

You know how you feel when you get numb to the world? When works sucks, and you have all those little menial personal chores piling up (need a reminder? bills, dry cleaning, dog food, medicine, doctor, house, food), and you just want to give in? Well, I was feeling like that tonight after being at Saint Rocke all day dealing with New Years last minute details, and so when I got home I went running around my neighborhood, threw on a little JayZ, and got lost. The pulse of hiphop always helps when running --helps you keep your cadence, like little toy soldiers, and you get lost in the beat. And a by the way, his lyrics are genius. His mastery of the English language --analogies, metaphors, similes, puns -- is impeccable.

So then I get home, have some wine, and sit down to do some work, and I find myself moving around myspace listening, until I land on the Sara Bareilles square, thanks to my friend Jay Nash, another recording artist and friend of hers. And yes, just like that, I go from a gun-toting JayZ disicple to a Sap. She seems like a lovesong kind of gal, so imperfectly perfect in so many ways -- looks, piano-playing, voice, lyrics...like the difference between a digital and analog recording. And I've sat for a half hour listening to the archives, and although I know better, for a moment I am finding solace in somebody else fighting the fight.

This world is amazing. But this world can also suck sometimes. And when it sucks, it's always nice to hear some words that give you company...whether it be JayZ, or the lady Bareilles, it's soothing. it's comforting. it's the power of music. And it's hard for us guys to admit that we're Saps too. But fuck it. New trend.

Top 5 Things I've learned this year

Christmas is always a time where I slow down, I think about my life, my business, and the people around me, and I try to excerpt some knowledge from the year and its months. Thought it would be cool to share a few things I've learned this year, and to see if you all had any knowledge eggs to crack over my head as well...

WHAT I'VE LEARNED IN 2010

 

1. When a politican says A, he means B. Against prop 8 = he is gay. Wants to tighten the rules of Wall Street = pockets being lined by Goldman Sachs. So, it's easy for me now. I vote for the person that has the opposite views of me, because I know he/she's lying.

2. Smart Phones (iphones imparticular) have made it to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. They are right up there with food & shelter according to most people in our society.

3. As you age into your thirties, you have to be supremely aware of more and more situations in which you have automatically become "that guy." For women, they have a particular word for it = cougar. For men, it's, "hey, look at 'that guy".

4. Whoever thought of Christmas for sure owned a mall.

5. Having a nice scotch and soda at the end of a stressful day still solves the problem. Having 10 makes you call & text people you wouldn't normally call = makes more problems. So although I haven't pinpointed it, the sweet spot seems to be 4 or 5. More on this next year.

To everyone out there in the music world, a part of Saint Rocke, or somehow reading this, have a very Happy Holiday & Merry Christmas, or whatever you celebrate, spread some love into the world, and we will see you on New Years. aJ.S

Best of 2010 at Rocke

I've always wanted to do one of these; best of this, best that, biggest this...you read the ones in magazines and you nod your head, knowing that half of the votes came through buying an ad in the mag. Well here, not going to happen. Got nothing to gain. Next week, Im going to put out a best of 2010 which all 10 of you that read this will enjoy - and I thought since we are a small, tight little crowd here that I would love to hear some categories that you'd like included. Here is my short list:

Best Face-Melting Performance:
Biggest "diva" artist to deal with:
Artist I'd most like to put in a box and take home:
Best surprise performance:
Coolest Employee at the Rocke:
Biggest Underplay:

What else? This is way harder than I thought... Help me figure out these different categories and come up with some "different" types of things, and whoever hooks up the most questions for me I'll give a NYE ticket to (open bar, full dinner, World Tribe performance, all included). Deal?

Bathroom. Me. Staples. 10 cops....Holy Shit.

It's not very often that I actually get scared. The occasional adrenaline rush, sure, but actually frightened like a child? Not really. But this last weekend, I went to the Roger Waters show at Staples Center (he performed Pink Floyd's "Wall"), and I legitimately got frightened. Like going to Knotts Scary Farm when you're 12 years old frightened. Like the phone rings Freddy Krueger style frightened...

Night starts off good. My friend and I. Get to LA Live, settle on Flemings for dinner. Johnny Walker Black flowing freely, good food, time to have fun. Get into Staples, grab two big beers, and we're ready for a show. We see a few friends (remember that) walking to our seats, and I don't presuppose as to what they had to drink, but lets use the "three sheets to the wind" cliche. Quick hello. Onward.

Now, I'm going to understate this because certain people read this, but I was feeling pretty good, really good. The show was amazing, but alas, my first bathroom break calls. So I casually stroll into the huge bathroom and begin my urinal transaction, when all of a sudden everybody starts leaving the bathroom. Initially Im confused, but as I turn my head I notice the entrance of Venue Officials, and lots of them. I'm standing at the urinal, and immediately start thinking, "what the hell did I do?" and this nasty nervousness starts setting in. At this freeze-frame, the head count inside the Staples bathroom is : (1) Allen, (4) Red Coats, (2) Cops, (2) Security Guards (with badges), and there is only one exit. I skip level 1-4 scared, and go right to 5 because I can't figure out what I've done wrong, and Im assuming they're coming for me (remember, I've had a few and I'm not at my intellectual peak).

Did I say something bad? nope.
Did I sneak into somewhere? negative.
Do I have contraband? negatory ghost rider.
Then why the hell am I freaking out?
and how am I going to plan my getaway?

But just as I've concluded that Im guilty for a crime I didn't commit (Ateam), and just as my scare level is eclipsing 8, I see another figure through the mirror reflection by the sink...and low and behold, who is it? The friend we saw 20 minutes earlier that we knew, being questioned by these cops. Relief. Scare level drops 3 points.

But, even though Im not exactly sure what went down, what Im sure of is that I dont want to get in the middle of this. This guy is wasted, and if I walk by and try to leave, all I can think of is that he'll say he's with me, and I'm "guilty by association" somehow. There is no help to be given, no "saving your buddy", because these Officers are absolutely riddling this guy, and preparing for the inevitable tackle & cuffs. But they are blocking the exit, so I stand at the urinal for 5 minutes pretending, freaking out (remember, the room is 100% empty except for me). Then, like a tunnel to heaven, there is a quiet shuffle, and the whole Police parade moves from the door for a second, and I see my exit. Bam. Like a ghost. Gone.

There is more to the story, but for another time.  The most interesting part of this was that my  mind created the whole situation, and there was really no reason for me to be scared at all. But the kicker for me was that leaving that bathroom felt like Shawshank Redemption. Free at last. Free as last. Lets go home...

Oh wait, Im at a concert that just started.

(postscript): our buddy is fine. Lesson: Never drink 4Loco. That drink is like cocaine + acid put together.

Rocke Society. Wanna be a part?

As is always the case when you own your own business, I have been thinking of ways to make Saint Rocke better...to make the Rocke product stand alone, and to entice people that I want coming to Saint Rocke on a regular basis to do so. I like to think (I know) that our regulars are not the typical Hermosa bar commoners. I like to think that they are more educated, more into quality over quantity, and that they love music and the vibe it brings along.

So for that reason I've been playing with a membership card to the Rocke Society. Something that if I was going to Saint Rocke, I'd wanna have. It will be a purchasable card, and will basically give the bearer a carte blance in at the Rocke. Free entrance, reservable tables, discounts, merchandise, meet the bands in the green room, etc.etc.

But who better than to ask then you what it should cost? what it should look like? what extra fun stuff it should have be a part of it. I mean, do you really care about meeting the band? Do you really care about being able to get a seat? Or is a food discount more important?

Help me help you (had to do it).
The more you help, the more likely it is that you get a card fa fa fa fa fa free.
Hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving.

aj.s

Facebook Etiquette. Such a thing?

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with owning a venue, so it really has no place here. But, seeing how Facebook is a large part of our branding & promotion at Saint Rocke, and seeing how I actually "facebook" a lot more than (100%) than I used to, this blog shall be the home of this story. If you're not alright with that, stop reading.

Im 33. I had no cellphone until 26, and I had no email account until 20. I was raised with two brothers, and we were basically outside all the time. I played the occasional Super Mario or River Raid, but computers and TVscreens were not a big part of my adolescence. These days, my group of friends do very little social networking, so most of my time logged on Stalkerbook is business, and building the Rocke brand. Okay, enough background. Lets get to my little story...

Was on the other night, and on my wall read "Keep your soul, I don't want a soulmate", written by a girl that is my 'friend'. Now, of course we don't actually know eachother; she is building her brand as a TV personality, and I mine with the restaurants. But, I happened to be intrigued by that comment --which I won't digress on, but which actually doesn't make logical sense to me -- and so I wrote a quick note : "a second level comment, interesting." The point was, I like it. Right on. Somebody said something that had just a tad bit of thought behind it rather than quoting the Bible, their favorite Billboard hit song, or some over-quoted cliche writer. Right?

Wrong. Later that day, I log in, and I get this : "hey dude, scientology? it's a song. Chill Out." What? really? First of all, I was chilled out until you wrote a rude response. Secondly, what does scientology have to do with anything?  And thirdly, damn. I take back my comment above, where someone wrote something original & interesting. So of course, I wrote back, apologizing for butting in and basically saying sorry, to which I get another reply, this time pretty much scathing (without quoting, basically saying my comments were a cheap attempt at intelligence and I lost the game...game over). Whats the acronym Im looking for? WTF?

Is there no etiquette on this social behemoth? Can you not have some friendly lively debate on this? Did I miss something? Someone please clue me in. Or, is it: write comment = making a pass. The awesome part is that she expected an intelligent remark on Facebook which seems similar to telling someone you love them on facebook, or telling your wall to 'carpe diem'. Only in America do people eat cliches for breakfast.  The last part of the story is me getting riled up, and writing back, as I am an easy sucker to get pulled into matches of wit, or debate. It's like chess, the more the lose, the better you get. So I guess since I wrote last, I lost? That how it works? Or does anybody even care...

And then it happened. I was deleted. Just like that. Oh, the horror. No explanation, no letter, no phone call. Just a delete button, and poof, out in the cold. I wonder if kids have support networks for this these days.

Whats the moral of the story? Can't find one. I've failed the "cool" test on Facebook, and Im washed up.
Thank God.

Going to New York City to find a name for my Restaurant

NYC with a plan : Find a new Restaurant Name

Even the cab ride is exciting to me, my flip cam recording each swerve and swear word with high def accuracy. Walking the streets with thousands of people, seeing Al Pacino opening night on Broadway, walking through Soho and feeling the culture drip down off of the graffiti-laden buildings. I love this town. I love NYC. If I didn't surf, I'd be there...

No wonder the New Yorker is so adamant about the town. No wonder all the Yankees fans love their team even if the players are mercenaries. No wonder JayZ sings about the town (er, raps). I even caught myself blasting that tune as I rolled down 7th Ave & W 23rd. It's an energy, a brother and sisterhood of strangers. It's fuckin cool.

Don't get me wrong LA - you've got alot to offer. Beach, desert, mountains, city, entertainment...all a stones throw away. And the weather, always nice. But when you talk culture, art, food, spirit....NYC is so clearly above the grade that as I went to the 20 restaurants I went to in 4 days, and ate and drank like Bacchus (thats the Greek God of wine, no need for Wikipedia), I felt like a novice. Oxymoron? a 12-year experienced novice?

I went to NYC with a purpose: to find a new name for a restaurant I start building in January. I wanted to find some inspiration & creative outlet, or more precisely: see their food, see their plates, see their walls, how the light their room, how they layout their occupant loads, how they wire their speakers, and what they play. If you ever go to a restaurant with me, you'll notice that the first 10 minutes of our conversation, my head is swallowing as much information about the space as it can handle, down to doorknobs and floor tiles. But, above all, I wanted a name.

And when I got there, I got an idea. Why not let the people of NYC name it? After all, they are here all the time...so I got my video camera, told my friend (Im camera shy as you'll see), and we walked the city for four days asking people to name the restaurant. Im almost finished editing the video, and I'll post it for all to see, because it's actually pretty funny - security guards, landlords, actresses, bartenders - they all took a shot at the crown.

Did it work? Do I have a name? Lets just say that next week, my camera will be out in LA doing the same thing. But it was the creative process that was born out of that city - the ability to make someone creative in a non-creative endeavor. So thank you NYC. And by the way, if you've got a cool name for an American Gastropub serving breakfast lunch dinner, throw a comment here. Or better yet, throw a video here. You'll eat there for free if we pick your name....

Life. Try it Out. Stop being a $&*($#...

13 months, 6 days, 2nd hour.

That's how long I've been writing this blog. I was going to count the number of words I've written, but that might be overcooking the meat. I'm a personal guy by nature, and for those that know me, it's almost laughable that I've started this blog. As it was conceived, I thought it'd be a great business marketing machine - give the venue a face, personalize it, and provide a glimpse into the other side of Oz, behind the lights and curtains. But as I've continued to illustrate my experiences in this digital journal, I've begun to move towards personal issues rather than venue issues, unknowingly and without motivation. I guess I'm a reader of my own blog, as well as the author.

The single most memorable life moments I've had is connecting real life with the words - meeting people that read this, hearing their feedback, hearing their comments, and knowing that we are pretty much all in this together.  I'm humble enough to know that my path has been walked on, but idealistic enough to realize that my footprints are unique. And I've grown to enjoy sharing my thoughts - partly because there are no faces to disapprove of them, and partly because I find it rare that honesty without filter finds it's way into the world.

So this post, I'm turning it around. I'd love for anyone who wants to try it out - to write me a post, and I'll put it up. Think about it - you can be anonymous if you'd like - and throw out an idea you have of the world, of music, of love - and see if people feel you. Whether you're a dentist in San Fran, a lawyer in Newport, or a bartender in Vegas, you all have those secret ideas that you keep within the vault. Here's your chance to let them out...without any social consequence. Trust me, it's a social experiment, and it's fun.

I had dinner a few weeks ago with someone, and I told her that I go out to dinner pretty often by myself, to restaurants, and bring the newspaper, and I love it. I love it. And for the first five minutes, she made fun of the fact that I did that, and that she would feel like a loser. But by the end, she was determined to try it (did you?). I have a tattoo. Only reason I got one is that I always told myself I would never get one. Make sense?

I challenge you to act outside of your confines today. or tomorrow. or the next day. And here is an easy opportunity. You can either post below this, or if you want to post officially, send to my email at asanfy@aol.com.

And I promise, I don't judge.
ajs.

Hypothesis: The Point of Music is to Evoke Emotion. Agree?

Why do you listen to music & go to shows? Here's my motivation....

I hope Im not the only one, but Im so sick of hearing Eminem & Kanye trying to sing, of drummers being out of work because of producers using loops & ProTools to create repetitive drum lines, and seeings acts that have no business selling out doing so because of mass marketing appeal. The mass music does nothing for me, except keep my ears busy as Im driving around the South Bay. And to be honest, I never understood when I was a kid why my Dad drove with nothing on the radio - but I get it now. Noise. Marketing. Buy this. Be cool and wear this, or be there. Be an artist and buy Apple (yes, Im an Apple Hater).....I just hate it.

Then a friend drove to LA just to go to a show...which I thought was a little strange, because she is what I consider a tastemaker, and she wouldn't do that unless it was worth it. So, even though I hate to be in the popular circle, I found myself perusing this band she was going to see, curious as to why she had to see them, and travel at that. Note: check Mumford & Sons on myspace. Results: (1) it wasn't hiphop; (2) it wasnt the same old 4 man lineup of drums, bass, guitar, vocals; (3) the songwriting, delivery, and emotion of the music was truly unique, which is the most important thing in music to me at some level. Remember, I walk into a venue daily, and probably see 1000 bands a year perform. Alot of them start sounding the same.

And I believe the most important thing in music, or listening, is this: It Evokes Emotion in  Me. My mind & intellect feeds off of it, and it evokes a feeling (doesn't matter what feeling) that I haven't had before. In certain cases, I listen to a song, and I feel like the world is brighter, or Im invincible, or that Love really does exist.....

and in this case, it really hit home on a relevant topic in my life, and gave me some insight....

"And you are not alone in this

As brothers we will stand, and we'll hold your hand, hold your hand.

I will tell the night, and whisper lose your sight. 

I can move the mountains for you."

So again, Do you agree? Why do you listen to music or go to shows? What is a lyric that evokes emotion in you?

Buddha Question: What side of the creaky fence do YOU sit on?

Just woke up. 9:43am. 2 ads, newsletter on graphic deadline before noon. Meetings with staff all day, national show tonight. Went to bed 4:46am. Massive day of techie geek upgrades to our computer network at Saint Rocke. Cursing myself for liking to learn, and then, when things are not gravy, not hiring professionals to do the work in half the time. Life of a business owner. Pretty romantic, eh?


The problem is more complicated, for reasons I can't discuss, but at the same time the problem is simple: when is too much work too much? In our culture, we see it all the time. In music, you can take your pick from a veritable ocean of songs that loathe the corporate fool, or wasting your life to work and forgetting about love. If you work alot, you are characterized immediately as lacking soul, lacking true direction in regards to Plato's objective nature of things. But where is the line?

Play for too long, too hard, and on the other side when you're older, you'll struggle. When you get sick, you won't have insurance or a roof over your head, and you'll have to rely on other people, which I think is part of what makes this country amazing and terrible at the same time.

Or work hard, really hard, and buy a nice home, and provide & be responsible for your family. When you get sick, you go to good doctors, and when a rainy day hits, you have an umbrella. But that takes toil, time, and when you'd rather be surfing....we'll, lets say you click on "surf report" , watch the cam, and daydream for 10.

I've been trying to ride that middle - and God knows (don't know if there is One, but read Pascals Wager and you'll understand) it's a thin fence. Right now, it's pretty clear what side I've been leaning towards, and I've got to say, it's sucking. So I begin the transition of my ass cheek to the other side of fence, lean a little too hard that way, and then write again in a few months about how there is more to life than being happy in the moment.

Or is there?