Monday, May 17, 2010
I've had enough. I've tried to play it cool, play the rules, listen to their ad calls about why I should pay Yelp to help me even though people take shots all day...well, you know what? Screw YELP. Screw you YELP, the creator of YELP, and all of you people that hammer down on small business owners everyday. You guys blow; you are what the world does NOT need more of - negative people that slam others, with no offers or suggestions on how to improve. Pretty rad. Go USA. And then you have the nuts to call me and ask me advertise on your site? As they say in Strange Brew, "take off eh".
At the bottom of the USA economy is the small business owner. We're the donkeys. We employ the people, get hammered by the state and Fed over taxes, have insanely unfair labor rules (did you know we can't even fire people that steal?), and pretty much get bent over by everybody (note: see new healthcare bill. who is carrying that load? small business). Still, that being said, we happily oblige because only here in our country can you start something from nothing and make a living doing what you love. So we say, cool, some for you, some for him, some for her, and the little snibbets that are left go in our pocket.
And we work tirelessly to make our businesses cool (at least I know I do, and my partners do). We work all night, we basically talk business all the time (wives and girlfriends can attest to that), and our work pretty much becomes a part of our identity. Take the ROCKE for example. If you know me, and you've been to Saint Rocke, you know my soul is on the wall. I had a tool belt on when we built that place, and I know where every plumbing, electrical, data, and sound line is in that building. I spent all night (2nd note: when i saw all night, i mean all night, like 11pm-8a because we're open the other hours) before NOFX rewiring our entire lighting rig just to be sure that it would look sick. And I do that because I love to. But occasionally we screw up - some food comes out wrong, servers screw up, we screw up. It happens. It happens to all of us. When is the last time you messed something up? thought so. we're human.
And then I go to YELP, and I see this goddamn people YELPING all day about this and that - too expensive, too salty, they didnt tell me happy hour lasted only till 7, free this, free that. And well, I've been YELPED out. We own Saint Rocke, the Union Cattle Co, and now Ocean Bar. And they aren't perfect, but I think they are pretty fucking cool, and if they are not, give us some suggestions to make them better, which I truly mean (my email is firstname.lastname@example.org). But imagine a stranger slamming your job, or your efforts, and giving no good feedback. It sucks, and so therefore, YELP sucks. YELP in a nutshell: an internet nerd got a community of people whose mantra screams "misery loves company" and is making a ton of money off people who actually think that YELP is unbiased. Right. Sit in on a sales call they make...you'll see.
So here is my plea.
If you YELP - take the Y out add an H. HELP. help businesses be better.
If you dont YELP - dont start. does this really make anybody, or the world better? nope.
and if you want to, join me in going onto yelp and fighting back. gloves off baby. you slam me, i slam you. im just one small business owner, but im over it.
You think Im off base?